"I Require A Certain Kind Of Love" Part FOUR (Blog#14)

*To all new “Total Liberation Readers”, this blog is a continuation. Do not begin here. Please scroll to blog NUMBER 1 to better follow the story line.*

*To all current readers, It may behoove you to revisit “The People That Live Inside Me” (Blog #6) before continuing.- Thanks for reading =-)*

My heart was racing like crazy. Every jolt and shake just increased my anxiety. I was feeling about 7 different ways at once and they were all strong and intense emotions. I was high, yet very much sober; literally.

It had been about 3 weeks since Antonio had invited me to his city. At first I was against it, but I knew I did not stand a chance in hell of telling Antonio “no.”

So, there I was on a plane to Baltimore; nervous as hell.

The weeks leading up to this trip had been great! Antonio had become very attentive and sweeter than ever. He seemed excited about our trip and so was I. I was going to get 4 entire days with my beautiful Prince. Yet, I was afraid still.

I tried to soothe my jumbled thoughts and focus on the great things that I expected to happen during our trip; Sex, cooking, cuddling and I would get to see a brand new city! What could possibly go wrong?

All of my personalities had their opinions on the matter. They all lived in a small town called, “My Mind”. They all called a Town Meeting to discuss the matter at hand.

*********************

They were all in this large room with dark grey walls, sitting at an oval shaped table. Both the chairs and table were a glowing white; giving the illusion of levitation. Mother was at the helm of the table as usual.

Angela started the discussion:

Antonio is pure positive energy just like all of us. He can cause no harm as long as Cidney applies all the wisdom I have acquired from countless books. As long as her focus remains on what she desires she will be fine.

Mother:

I agree with Angie. I can’t wait to cook for him. I know he will love the way I fold his clothes and wake him up to breakfast every morning. Once I do this, he will be head over heels and do the same thing for baby Moana.

Leana:

I wonder how often we will fuck. I hope his sex drive is on point. He don’t like to fuck with me when we are apart, but I hope he knows that I plan on doing some nasty shit to him when I get there. If he thought I sucked his dick good in the shower he is going to lose his mind when I get my hands on that pretty motherfucker this time! I might suck his dick in the car so he can be ready to fuck as soon as we get to his place. Mother, you can do all the breakfast in bed type shit while I do the head in bed type shit. Food mixed with fucking will get his ass hooked!

Spider Woman:

Seduction is the key. We must not give him too much. He still needs to be wooed. I plan to stimulate him with my beauty, curves and conversation. I will make strong contact and peer into his soul. I will find that little boy that lives inside him and coax him out. And then, one of you others can take over from there.

Mother:

And once that little boy is revealed I will love him and spoil him to smithereens!

Trixie:

I hope he will be in a playful mood! He is so funny sometimes and he seems to like to play with me! That is very important! As long as we are laughing we will be fine! I wonder if he will fart in front of me. If he does, I will LOVE IT!! I hope he will wrestle too! I love to do that! It’s so much fun!!

Leana:

As long as that leads to some swinging balls I’m good.

Sasha:

I don’t think Moana is ready for this. I was against this all along. Ya’ll remember what happened last time right?

Mother:

There is no need to hold grudges.

Sasha:

It’s not a grudge. It’s just real! Moana has not been the same since! And it’s my job to protect her against people who clearly don’t appreciate her!

Angela:

We cannot control how anyone else feels. We only have power over our own emotions. Besides, your “protection” is just what invites in all of the heartache. Moana is stronger than you think Sasha.

Sasha:

We may not be able to control how anyone else feels, but we can control where we go! I really don’t think we should be on this plane! I feel like it will just hurt Moana even more than it did before! Antonio is just too wishy washy! He doesn’t know what the hell he wants and Moana is not ready for this kind of confusion.

Trixie:

I wonder if Antonio will want to go to the zoo.

Mother:

Sasha, I understand what you mean but I will make sure that Moana is okay. That is my job, remember?

Sasha:

Your job is to make sure she is okay before she gets hurt, but I have to do all kinds of damage control if you let her out too much. It took me weeks to cheer her up last time but for some reason she keeps peeking out for him even when I tell her to stay back! It’s something about him that reels her in, time and time again! It drives me crazy because I cannot figure out what it is!

Angela:

Some connections cannot be explained though words or logic. And as long as Cidney chooses to love him unconditionally all will be well.

Sasha:

And Leana, all this sex is cool but it will only hurt Moana more if he wakes up one morning and decides we are just his “friends”.

Spider Woman:

Once he is properly seduced you won’t have to worry about that.

Mother:

Sasha, relax. Nothing has happened yet. And if something does, you will be there right?

Sasha:

Of course but-

Mother:

Then there is nothing to fear. This trip will be a great one…no matter what.

Angela:

Mother is right. Even if it goes “badly” it will only make Cidney even more clear on what she wants so she can create it.

Leana:

As long as he aint stingy with his cockerspaniel, I’m good.

Trixie:

As long as we get to play I’m happy

Sasha:

All I got to say is make sure Moana does not get hurt. Last time I did not say anything to Antonio, I just dealt with Moana. But, if he pulls that shit again, he will have to deal with me…and it won’t be nice.

Mother:

We understand Sasha. I have to agree that Moana is quite fragile. I can make sure I step my game up to ensure she does not show herself too much.

Sasha:

Make sure Moana does not show herself at all!

Mother nodded in agreement.

Moana was around the corner fearfully eavesdropping on the conversation. She was not sure if she was ready for this either. So she ran away and jumped back into her crib…where she is always safe and sound…

“We are now landing in Baltimore, Maryland. Thank you for flying Delta.”

The captain interrupted my troubled thoughts.

The moment of truth was drawing nearer. I was about to face Antonio. I was trying to plan out how I was going to react to him. Part of me wanted to jump up on him and hug him, another part wanted to hug him and cry and another wanted to play it cool. It was very hard for me to predict my own actions. Each idea I came up with was vetoed by the next. I felt like I was dying already. Confusion is a terminal dis-ease.

I got my bags from baggage claim and I noticed a cutie a few people down. Trixie decided to wave.

The sexy dude smiled back at me.

“Nice mouth.” I thought. It has always been a habit of mine to look at people’s mouths.

I bent down to pick up my suitcase when I felt a hand take it from me.

I looked up and there was Mr. Fine, looking good and shit.

“I think I can handle that for you. I’m Jared.”

Damn, Northern men were so bold; dudes in Louisiana just like to stare for hours and not say anything. The bold ones usually look like broke down beetles in the face. The change was appreciated.

“I’m Cidney. Thanks for your help, Jared.”

“No problem Ms.Cidney. You are gorgeous by the way. I just thought you should know that.”

“Aw, thank you. So are you Mr. Jared. Wow, you fellas are bold up north I see.” I said.

“I don’t know any other way to be. I was raised to make sure beautiful women are reminded of that fact as often as possible.”

Gone ‘head Chico Debarge! This dude was charming as hell! YAAAYYYYSSS!

He told me that he had been doing some traveling overseas and that he lives there in Baltimore.

“Let me guess, you are from the south?”

“How’d you guess?”

“Your accent is thick as hell!”

We laughed.

“My bad.” I said playfully. “And so is yours, but it’s cool. I like the way you ‘upnorth’ folks talk.”

“So I guess that means you will be hearing me talk again pretty soon huh?”

This boy better work! I love a confident man that is not afraid to go hard for me. However, I felt something weird. I felt hesitation.

This is odd considering there was a fine man in my face asking for my digits.

“Should I be doing this right now? I don’t want Antonio to catch me getting his number,” I thought to myself. Then, I quickly came back to my senses. “ Man please. Antonio knows what kind of woman I am. And more importantly, I know what kind of woman I am. Let me go on ‘head and get these digits!”

We exchanged numbers and I got a call from Antonio. I got scared for a second. I thought he was somewhere watching me.

“Hey, I’m outside at Gate 4 waiting on you. I’m in a black truck. I will have my hazards on.” I relaxed again.

“Okay.” I said and hung up the phone. I said good bye to my new friends and power walked to the nearest rest room.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I liked what I saw. I looked pretty damn good. My body was on point and so was my light make up.

“Calm down Cid. He is just a regular dude that you have seen before. No need to be so nervous.”

I took one final look at the complex person known as Cidney Green and headed to Gate 4…

““““““““““““““`

I remember feeling a bit more self conscious than I wanted to so I sent for the most confident woman in the world; Spider Woman. Immediately, my whole posture changed. I was no longer walking the same way as before. I was feeling myself. Even though I had on just a midriff shirt and yoga pants…I was sexy and I knew it.

I spotted the black truck with the blinking lights and waved at it.

Then it happened. I saw him. My lovely personal rumpshaker/lover, Antonio.

He got out of the car and met me with a nice hug and a smile. He was perfect as usual. He smelled like Axe or some other kind of male cologne. He seemed happy to see me. That was no surprise; all men are happy to see me.

“Bout time you got here lil’ nigga.” He said jokingly.

I laughed at him. I always found it funny when he called me crazy names like “chump” or “punk”.

After he put my bags in the car, we were off and there I was; in the car with Antonio. I felt so…honored to be there with him. I was still very much in “fan mode” for some odd reason.

Pretty soon, I began to relax around him. I was in the car with him making small talk for several minutes before I realized that I had no clue where we were going.

“So! Where are we going? Your place?”

“Nope.” He said with a small smirk on his face.

“Well, where are we going with me looking like this?” I said playfully.

“Just sit back and ride, I’ve got this under control.”

“Yes sir!” I said with a smile.

He took me by surprise when he reached over and grabbed my hand from off of my left thigh and intertwined his fingers with mine. I had an immediate flash back to our session back in New Orleans. It reminded me of how he held on to my hand tightly as we made love in that steamy shower that lovely morning. Both my cardiovascular and vaginal canal fluttered.

“I’ve been working on some music. I reached out to some producers out here and they made some tracks for me. Listen.”

He played a mid-tempo track. I bobbed my head immediately. It was catchy. He told me he wanted to work on it while I was there. I anxiously agreed to help him out with that.

That was Mother speaking. She loves to stand strong by her man especially when it comes to their dreams.

“I want this song to be about trying to get the courage to love again.” He volunteered.

I looked over at him. He did not make eye contact with me, he just held on to my hand a little tighter.

I looked at his hand wrapped up in mine and Moana smiled.

“““““““““““““““

Sasha:

Mother! Keep Moana back! She is peeking again!

Mother:

Shit, your right! Don’t worry Sasha, I will take care of this.

“““““““““““““““`

“So, can we pick up some groceries so I can cook for you in the morning? I know you don’t have anything to eat at your place.”

He laughed at me. “How you figure that?”

“Because you are a man and –” I stopped mid sentence.

We pulled up at some place I could not recognize. It looked like a closed restaurant, but I still wasn’t sure.

“Where are we?”

He smiled at me and told me to be cool and trust him.

“I’m looking good and terrible right now! I have my stuff back there. I can change in the car if I need to.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m just here to pick up something. Come on.”

He opened my door, helped me out of the truck and held my hand all the way to the door. I was still so grateful to be walking the streets of Baltimore with my Prince.

He took out a key and opened the door.

Was this his place? I was beyond confused.

As I walked in behind him, I hear the soft music first. The hallway was a little dark compared to the main room. It was well lit, with light radiating from the candles on the table. In the middle of the very same table was a vase of cox cone flowers; my favorite.

I could not help the tears from running down my shocked face. My heart swelled with pure positive love potion. My mouth was still gaped open when he stood in front of me and smiled. I think he was asking me if I liked it but I could not be too sure. There were too many racing thoughts and opinions in my head. But the loudest noise, was that of Baby Moana creeping out of her crib.

Next thing I felt, was strong yet gentle hands being placed on both sides of my face. Then, there was his kiss. His loving kiss. His soft heartfelt kiss that did nothing to hide his true feelings for me. It was the kiss I will never forget. For it was the kiss that shattered any and all walls I had carefully positioned around my heart. All of that work to construct them went for naught. I now lacked both defenses and control over my erratic heartbeat. It was pumping more and more endorphins throughout my body, creating full on emotional submission. Just that quickly, I forgot what all fear felt like. I was ready to love, and love harder than ever before. Excuse me, how rash of me to take the credit. It was not me. It was Baby Moana that was kissing Antonio in that empty restaurant that day…

Soon, we were sitting down at the table eating twice cooked duck with mashed potatoes and corn. Being that he used to dabble in the culinary arts, he prepared the meal for me. He told me that his uncle owned the restaurant and that it did not open until early the next morning. So with his uncle’s permission, he decided to occupy it for the night in order to make me feel extremely welcome.

“I have never felt more welcome in all of my life. I truly do not know what to say…” I said while fighting back another round of tears.

He smiled wider.

“I am not used to you being speechless. I think I can get used to that.” He said.

“I am not used to you being so sweet to me. I could get used to that as well.”

“What? I’m always sweet to you!”

I gave him a look that said, “Nigga Please.”

He laughed.

“Okay, okay. I have not been the easiest person to bond with , I know.”

“I am glad you do.”

“I am working on you…as you can see.”

“I can see, and again, I am floored.”

He grinned.

“I’m glad you are.”

“May I ask you a question?”

He put a fork full of corn into his mouth and replied, “Shoot.”

“Why do you think people fear moments like this?”

He was silent for a moment.

“Because sometimes, it’s easier to be afraid than to be brave.”

“But isn’t being afraid a part of bravery?” I inquired.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Would you consider a man brave if he entered a lions den, yet did not fear them?”

“No, I would just consider him crazy.”

“My point exactly. Bravery is being afraid to do something, and doing it anyway. But, this still leaves my question unanswered; why do people fear moments like this? Why do we try to avoid moments that feel this amazing?”

“Some of us do not want to relive our past failures.”

“So fear of failure trumps the desire for true love.”

“As crazy as it seems, most of the time, it does.” He confessed.

“But it’s all mixed in there together though. The people who build the biggest and strongest walls to keep love out, are the ones who desire it the most…”

I looked at him and he looked at me.

He looked down at his plate and fiddled with his duck.

“So, what do you think about the duck?”

I had struck a chord somewhere. And while I was glad I was making some headway into getting to know Antonio more deeply; I knew that now would be a good time to tell him what I thought about the duck….

“““““““““““““`

After the most romantic dinner of my life, we went back to his place. It was a nice condo with dark hardwood floors and high ceilings. I was shocked to find that his shit was decorated more nicely than mine!! He said he did it himself. The man was fascinating me more and more by the second! He took my bags and disappeared somewhere, telling me he would be right back. I looked around the room more. I saw photos of his daughters in various places. He was extremely family oriented, yet another thing I admired about him.

He gave me a nice tour of his living quarters. He showed me his daughter’s rooms. He was a father of two. Neither daughter resided with him. They both lived with their mother.

“And this, is my room.” As we reached the end of the tour of his home.

“Why thank you for the lovely tour. You have a beautiful place here.”

“Thank you.”

He smiled, took off my jacket and put it in the closet.

“Take your clothes off.”

He said in a soft yet firm voice.

Though he caught me by surprise with his command, I quickly began following his orders.

He watched me with those dark eyes as I exposed my body to him one article of clothing at a time. This time, I managed to keep my eyes locked on his.

Things had changed between us. We were both more comfortable with each other.

“You’re beautiful.” He told me.

I could not help but blush.

“So are you.” I replied. He smiled at me and puckered his lips the way he does when he is lusting.

“Follow me.” He said.

I followed him as if my limbs were under some sort of hypnosis.

When I entered the spacious bathroom, I saw something that almost made my heart drop out of my chest into my anal area.

Antonio had a full blown bubble bath awaiting me!

Again, my mouth hung low. I could not believe what was happening. I felt something wet drip on my right breast. It was more of my liquid emotions.

This time he wiped my tears with his thumbs as he gave me a heartfelt kiss.

I exhaled heavily into him and we kissed like it was our honeymoon. I tried but I could not keep my cheeks dry.

You see people; there is still such a man and woman on this planet who adore this type of romance. The men who love to provide it are not “weak” and the women who appreciate it are not extinct. That was made clear to me that night in Baltimore.

Antonio did not know it but he was making a literal dream come true for me. I have always longed to be treated with such delicacy. I am not sure what the public perception of me is but I am mostly…Moana.

A few moments later, I was in the tub getting a sponge bath from the worlds most beautiful man.

Funny thing about this bath is, all the communication we did was non-verbal.

No words were exchanged as he cleaned my body; washing away all my…resistance to love. There was no way I would summon the strength to try and rebuild any walls I may have had.

We were gazing into each other’s eyes. The Cancer and the Pisces; two deeply emotional water signs, the match made in the stars, were finally out of loves way. In that moment, no fear existed. The only thing that did, was frequencies of alignment…

He ran the warm towel over my arms…my armpits…my belly…my legs…my feet…my neck…my breasts…

Silence was speaking in such high decibels as he cleansed my body.

Then, I felt the warm softness of the towel in between my legs. They parted to allow him more access to my erotically lactating labia.

He was very thorough as he cleaned my girlish parts. He slowly rubbed the towel up, down, around and around. He told me to rise up so he could give my ass the same treatment. I almost snatched his fine ass in that tub with me, but I kept my cool.

“You okay?” He whispered, even though no one was eavesdropping on us.

I nodded and grabbed on to his wrist; encouraging him to never ever stop.

He dropped the towel and used his hands for a more detailed cleaning. He found that pulsating area between my toned thighs once again.

He began to gently rub his fingers in that slippery part in the middle of my inner pussy lips. He kept his eyes on mine as his finger migrated to my pleasure button. A breathy moan escaped my moist lips. I grabbed onto his arm as I tried to keep my back from arching too much.

That shit when out the window when those magical fingers curved inside of me. He loved to beat the drum of my G-Spot. But he was not beating it the way August did, he was caressing it.

“Ooohhhh.” I moaned, as my eyes felt like they were falling into the back of my head.

He was doing some shit to me that I wish I could explain in more detail. It felt like an internal vaginal massage. It was a feeling I had never felt before. Before I knew it, I was purring vs. moaning. Rolling vs. jerking. Orgasming vs. “busting a nut”.

If he did not stop soon I was going to wet up this entire bathroom, not with the bath water but with whatever that hot liquid is that women ejaculate.

I really do not know how many times I had an orgasm because I felt like I was orgasming the whole time…

Tears came to my eyes…again. I was so full of every pleasurable emotion possible.

He was still gazing at me when I finally reopened my eyes. I have no way of knowing how I was looking but he was gazing at me in amazement…

Next thing I knew, I was on my back in his bed. He was slowly placing his soft mouth all over my body. I was crying moaning with no way of stopping it. I had no control over my locomotion or the emotional.

This was an out of body experience for me. I had never had this kind of lovin’ before.

His mouth went on its very own treasure hunt and it seemed like my hard nipples were his first discovery. My boobies are a great way to keep my pussy leaking and it literally was doing just that.

My God that way he was cupping my C cups and rolling his tongue around my sensitive baby cherry was astounding! He was about to make me cum again, just that quickly.

“Oh my God Antonio. Oh my God.”

His perfect mouth ventured down my tummy…to my belly button to the tippy top of my pussy.

He rotated his tongue around my pussy; teasing the FUCK out of me!!!

I almost grabbed the back of his head and mashed his damn face right in the middle of the mess he made. I was so close to doing just that when he suddenly submerged his face into my in-door pool.

“Shhhiiiitttt!!!” I screamed.

I came immediately and he kept right on licking. He was making love to me with his mouth. I was squirming, turning my head back and forth as if I was saying no to all the erotic torture that I was loving so much. I was feeling totally out of it.

Even though I was moaning like a crazy person, I was still very collected. He held my thighs as he stroked me with his hot tongue. He did not rush, even though I was franticly hyperventilating.

He made sure I felt every lick.

The next thing I remember, was him coming back up and kissing me. I loved licking my leftovers from his chin.

Now, Leana was coming out. He has treated me like royalty and Leana loves to reward men who do so with all kinds of nasty shit.

Enough fucking around.

It was time for some dick. Leana was ready for his ass. She had been for months now. She was not about to play with Antonio’s ass now that she had him in the flesh. She had all kinds of pussy tricks prepared for him, and oh, was she ready to show the fuck out.

But then something unexpected happened.

Antonio rolled off of me and laid down on my right side.

“Come here” he said gently.

He put my head on his chest and wrapped his arms around me.

“Get some rest.” He said softly. “It’s about you tonight; I don’t want you giving me anything but your company.”

I was again at a loss for words. So I did what was asked of me. I relaxed into him and let more soft tears fall from my eyes. He held me as if he understood.

“Cidney?” He asked.

“Yes?”

“Look at me.”

I did.

“I-I’m sorry for how I treated you before.”

More tears from me.

“It’s okay…” I managed to utter.

“No, it’s not. But, I will make it all up to you.”

He kissed my forehead. I felt his remorse.

“Now, go to sleep.” He said

My heart was filled with love and gratitude, yet I could not help but to grab my pulsating pussy. I needed to show him my appreciation but then I heard Mother’s voice.

“Cidney, there is more to you than your body. Just you being here is showing more than enough gratitude. Your presence and energy alone is valuable enough.”

Thanks for the reminder Mom…

I relaxed and so did Leana.

Mother was right…”I AM enough…”

(To Be Continued)

Copyright 2014 Cidney G. Green

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(To Be Continued)