And Then There Was Sheena (Blog#5)

*To all new “Total Liberation” readers: this blog is a continuation. Do not begin here. Please scroll to blog number one to better follow the story line-Thanks for reading=-)*

My definition of a Lover: Anyone whom I share a sexual, mental, spiritual or emotional connection with.

There is something called Inner Course (Sexual Penetration etc) and Outer Course ( A mental, emotional, connection that requires no physical sexual activity whatsoever. Example: a very stimulating verbal conversation. Or a strong spiritual connection that is at times hard to explain.)

So far you have been introduced to August: My Sexy Barber (Blog #2)

Antonio:My Beautiful Male Exotic Dancer(Blog #3)

Cash: My Poly Male Model.(Blog #4)

All of which I have been physically sexual with. Now I will paint the vivid picture of my Female Lover, Sheena. Our connection is very deep and strong yet we have never even kissed.

I met her at her job through a mutual friend. Raymond and had been friends for long while but lost touch for several months. Once we reconnected, he wanted to introduce me to all of his co-workers at this new job at a local Organic Foods Market.

I was wearing work out wear that day. I had on a black and gray sports bra with gray yoga pants. My body was a 10 but my make up could have been a little better (I had just got done working out and you know how that goes.)

So he is introducing me to everyone and I am being myself; giving people random compliments, hugging people and flirting with the few cute ones. I flirt with lots of people. Most of the time its harmless and I am not being serious but in the event that I AM being serious trust me, the FLIRTEE is fully aware of it.

So he gets to this innocent looking light skinned girl with dreads.

"Sheena, Cidney. Cidney Sheena." Raymond said.

My eyebrow went up like it always does when I see someone that I am attracted to. When that eyebrow goes up the decision is made; I’m getting them digits!! May seem cocky but when I want someone, man or woman. I always get them.( Ask August, Antonio and Cash;-)

"She’s Cute." I said with smile. The corners of her mouth curled up into a grin as well.

She had on glasses and no make up; naturally beautiful. Her dreads were just below her shoulders and she had them pulled back away from her face. As you should know by now I am a face person and I really liked hers.

She did not say much and before I knew it our first encounter was over. Raymond and I walked outside and I told him what I was thinking. “I’d hit her.” I told him.( I often use masculine terms when it comes to sex because I truly have penis envy.)

He laughed and told me the scoop. Ms.Sheena, while looking innocent was not. She was a freak according to him.

Now, here is the deal with me and women.

I adore men. I could not see myself with just tits and ass. Penis is a must. I love the strength of a man, the deep voice, the strong arms, the balls. Everything that makes a man a man.

Women are beautiful. I like to touch and kiss them (I am picky about who I kiss, man or woman). I like breasts and ass but am not a fan of eating pussy. I have done it before and have found that it depends on the woman weather or not I’ll be munching or not.

Most women don’t make the cut.

Women come handy because I am a voyeur. I love to watch the man I love please another woman. And that Is mainly because of him not her. There are many things you miss out on while actually sexing a man. You cannot fully observe his stoke and facial expressions.( Its nothing like watching the man you love get some bomb ass head! Trust me, I know.)

Quite frankly, I am not inspired to give a 3 sum to a man whom I do not care a great deal about or have a strong connection with and believe in sharing good dick with my friends. If its mediocre I’d rather keep that to myself. Not your average perspective , I know. I am not your average woman.

I like to put in percentages; I am 98% straight and 2% not straight, not 50/50 but still bi-sexual. Maybe even Pan-Sexual (which means I just love people. Sheena introduced me to that term) but labels are pointless. If you look good and I am feeling your energy; l’ll date you. Fair enough?

Now that we have that out of the way, the fact that I wanted a woman was a rare occasion but I wanted her. We did not really connect then but I was patient and knew that everything would happen in its time.

Fast forward about a week and I am in the store looking my buddy Raymond and this special water wanted. I was not expecting to see her there but she was.

She spotted me and we spoke. I told her what I was there for. I had 2 water gallon jugs in my hand.

"I am here to get some of the water that cleanses the Pineal Gland. I just bought these from the store but I am not sure how clean they are."

"I will go clean them out for you." She offered.

"Helpful, I see." I thought. She gestured for me to come with her. I did.

She disappeared for a few minutes and I waited.

When she came back I thought she was going to hand me my jugs and send me on my way but she did not.

She led me to the water fountain and made small talk as she filled my jugs. She was fucking CUTE. Her high cheek bones stood out to me along with the tattoos on her arms. Again, she had on not a lick of make-up and was beautiful.

She had energy that drew you in. You could tell she did not have a woman problem in the world. She, like me, could have anyone she wanted. She was a flirt. Something else we had in common.

She was very calm yet there was something else in her Ora. You could tell she was spiritual. “I could learn some things from this chick.” I thought. The connection was immediate.

After she filled my jugs she then walked me to the register.

Now, at this point I KNEW her ass was interested in me. Nobody does all of this just to be nice. She was a manager at the store but she wasn’t THAT damn serious about customer service.

I noticed she was feminine yet had masculine tendencies. Her voice was soft yet the way she made sure she carried the jugs was very “manly” of her. She was an interesting mixture of all things attractive.

After she made sure I got my water she walked me outside and we continued talking. The conversation was flowing so effortlessly. She told me she was on a plant based diet. We spoke more about that and other cleanses.

She offered her phone number and I took it. She asked me what I was doing that night and I told her “Insanity.”

Then she got closer and asked “What’s your sign?”

"Pisces" I said .

She looked shocked, yet not surprised. ” For some reason I have always been drawn to Pisces.” she said.

Then she walked away as if she needed to get away from me. She felt the connection too.

She told me she had to get back to work and we said our goodbyes.

I went back to my car excited about this new love interest.

Later that night I texted her and got no response.

I did not attempt to contact her again after that. One thing Cidney does NOT do is chase folks. Been there done that. I knew, once again that we would connect again when the time was right so I dropped it for the time being.

“““

Fast forward to several days later and we were on the phone. I was making fun of her for “throwing me to the dogs” as a playfully put it when people are being “neglectful”. Our conversations were AMAZING! Much more mental stimulating that any of my other lovers. The feeling she gave me was so pure, and just orgasmic. Still cant quite put a finger on it and I have not even told you the best part!

The day before this conversation I was at her job again talking to her. I thought I would be in and out but that wasn’t the case. In this conversation I learned that we had much more in common than I thought! Turns out she was poly as well. She loved women and wanted more than one. She was a self proclaimed “whore” and I loved it and accepted her for who she was.

I love lusty people. It was a turn on that she desired so many women. We totally understood each other on so many levels. She was mind fucking me.

She then told me she was in a “situation” and that her lover was not open and she was working on changing that.

This is when began to pick up hints of her confusion. She wanted more than one but was trying to “change her ways”. She, to this day, will not admit her that she was a bit scrambled but she does not have to. I know better.

I was trying to explain to her that desiring more than one person is not something she needed to change. But everyone has their own process and her perspective was understandable and valid. My job, again, was to accept her where she is and not attempt to rush her process. “Eventually she will liberate herself” I thought. “It is not my work”

The next day on the phone she is making love to my mental still. She did not waste anytime. I got wake up phone calls after all night conversations when we both needed to be in the bed yet could not seem to end the conversation. We were almost on some “No, you hang up first” type of stuff! She was such a good listener and her attention was addictive. She was so supportive of everything I did. That is so important to any ambitious person. She was so lovable. So soft. She considerate… just like a WOMAN.

We exchanged photographs. She sent me pictures of her in a simple V-Neck T-shirt and short semi baggy shorts and some of her in a dress and heels. I noticed that she could pull off the “stud” look as well as the “fem” look(she is beautiful no matter what but to me, she is prettier minus the make up.)

These late night conversations soon turned x-rated of course. We discussed her sexual preferences and adventures. I had never been interested in a “Stim” ( a cross between and stud and a fem) before so what she had to say was very intriguing to me.

She told me that, though it was rare, she sometimes desired penis and that was a Pan-sexual.

"Mostly, I love women." She told me.

She was most def a sexual person. She made that clear with many sexual “jokes” she would make and I threw them right back at her. She told me there was no part of a woman’s body she would not put her mouth on. The nasty Sheena began to reveal herself to me and trust me, I THOROUGHLY enjoyed getting to know this feisty side of her.

She liked to lick ass and pussy. She loved yo use she “tool box” which contained all of her pleasure gadgets. She was a voyeur; just like me.

"I don’t know what it is about it but I love seeing my woman get the shit fucked out of her." She told me one day as she was straightening up the scattered products on the shelves at her job.

Sheena was special in many ways. We talked like true friends. I would confide in her when Antonio and I were going through rough times. She would listen with such an attentive hear. She was geniunely interested in ME and all of the people that live inside me. Not to mention she was the only woman on Earth who could get my pussy wet like a man could. And we were just TALKING! She had me thinking about having sex with her and how it would feel.

"Some lesbians don’t like you to touch them, but you can touch me."

"Do you let them fuck you with the strap-on?” I asked like a curious cat.

"Sometimes, If I am really feeling her." she answered,

"I would be nervous" I told her honestly. " I have never sexed a woman with a strap nor been sexed with one."

I knew how to handle myself sexually with a man but not a women like Sheena. I had been with girly girls but she was different!

I have always wanted to hit a girl with a strap-on ( I told you I have penis envy) but I would be to unsure as to how to please Sheena with one. She was experienced and I was not. I would be so out of my element. I was embarrassed just thinking about it.

She laughed when I told her this and assured me that IF she let me fuck her with the strap-on that she would walk me through it.

She was so nurturing. I was used to doing most of the nurturing with my lovers and she reminded me that I needed some of that as well. She was warm. She took care of the emotional needs that most men could never understand.

She was very much a woman. She just liked vagina. It took me a minute to wrap my mind that.

Sheena, like me, was extremely multi- dimensional. She was spiritual, feminine, masculine, sexual, attentive, alluring and sensitive all at once. I felt so connected to her.

That connection increased one day when she was able to feel a shift in my vibrations before I could!

I was like “wooooow.” No man has ever been in tune with me LIKE THAT before. Hell, no person for that matter!

Her confusion was made even more evident in other conversations. One minute she would get excited about the idea of having two women making her breakfast and the next she would say ” I just want that pussy getting wet for me.”

She was in the place lots of people are; they want more than one, they want freedom but is not sure if having more than one mate is “right” or “okay” or something they need to “grow out of” or “get out of their system”. Most do not even possible to have this life minus all the drama.

Also, I could tell by some of the things she would say and the way she would say them that there was a small part of her (weather she will admit it or not) that enjoyed women getting jealous. This could be issue with having a woman who was truly open. Most people feel they need someone who shows some kind of possession or jealousy for them to feel more “loved”.

**This is my perspective and when she reads this she probably will not agree but oh well! LOL She will be alright!=-)**

“““

Things got real sexy one night when August came over to my place. Of course my baby August knew all about her and vice versa.

Next thing I know Sheena is on Face Time with us while August is devouring my pussy and ass.(August is fucking NASTY. Sometimes he would go straight for my ass with his mouth and THEN start eating my pussy and that’s why I love his ass.)

Sheena was driving and had to pull over to really enjoy the show. Sheena was not the first person August and I put on a show for(that will be discussed in a later blog.)

Sheena was no longer soft and lady like. She was suddenly very masculine. She was looking sexy as hell biting her lip while enjoying me get worshiped with his married tongue. Her voice even changed. Her moans and “encouragements” gave August a little more to drink.

The way he would spread my cheeks and lips apart while he thirstily savored my body had all three of us grunting and moaning. My moans being the loudest of course.

I loved to grab the back of his Mohawk while he got disgusting with me. He had my back arched like a scared cat and my legs shaking like I had Parkinson’s. (I always end up throwing a pillow or two when we do our thing.) August and I are so passionate that we could turn a blind nun into a voyeur.

Sheena loved watching us tongue kiss in between licks and slurps. Sometimes I wished my pussy had a taste so I could experience the flavor as I licked and sucked my essence off of his full lips but it never did…Darn.

Now, let me throw a monkey wrench in this whole thing. Due to her “situation”, our strong connection and her attempts to “change”; she did not feel comfortable seeing me outside of a “controlled environment” a.k.a her job.

So she did not join us and she only watched the four play.

August dick-ma-tized me again that night and I woke up to a phone call from her and I told her all about it.

Here comes a problem. Soon it was brought to my attention that Ms.Sheena had a slight problem with August. She claimed she was been in “situations” like this where a lover of hers had a male lover and it did not turn out well.

Unfortunately for Sheena (or any other person with an issue with any of my lovers) there was not anything I was willing to do about that.

I am extremely loyal to ALL of my lovers. No one is allowed to come in, have an issue and “get rid” of anyone. I don’t play that.

If anyone of my lovers and I part ways it will have EVERYTHING to do with me and THEM; not an outside party.

Besides, August had done way too much for me to entertain her with this. If it was too big of an issue she would need to remove herself from the equation. I would extend the exact same loyalty to her.

Luckily she did not ask me to get rid of him and this “issue” quickly blew over.

Our connection was still undeniably strong. She still managed to stimulate me in ways no other lover was at that point.

Then we began to fade…Not sure why but we did. Had to be for the best.

Recently we reconnected her energy was missed. She now has a new lover in her life along with the original one.

Her “situation” and her got rough when Sheena “cheated”. Sheena felt no real guilt because it is natural for her to love more than one but she felt bad about her lover feeling bad. We talked about it and I encouraged her to dig deep and exclude the opinions of me and all others and decide what she wanted. She said she would. I am sure the outcome will be a wonderful one.

I really enjoy groping Sheena at work. Just the other day I was rubbing her ass and breasts in the store. Her mouth said everything but “stop” and her hands made no effort to remove mine from her body. I liked to touch her and I like doing shit I am not supposed to (like touching her inappropriately at her workplace.) I turn into a mischievous little child who loves trouble. I guess that is yet another side of me. The other day was the first time I had touched her like I did. I had my hand under her shirt and it was my first time touching her ass. I liked people acting like they weren’t watching.

In other good news, I mentioned her other new lover. I got to speak to her over the phone and she was very sweet. We all plan to meet up one day but who knows when that will happen. She has also agreed to meet Cash and August. =-)

Will Sheena and I ever have be intimate? Part of me says “It’s bond to happen one day.” and the other part of me genuinely doesn’t know.

Like everything else in life I feel no need to rush this. It cannot happen before its time and that time will be perfect for all parties involved.

I am not sure where this “thing” with Sheena and I will led but I am enjoying knowing her. She is a very special, caring and beautiful person and she will find her way to everything she desires.

Sheena reminded me that I truly do desire someone who has things to teach me and that it is okay for me to be nurtured as well. She also helped me to identify a feeling that I want to continue to manifest into my experience; the feeling of being thought of and considered on a deep emotional and spiritual level.

Mainly she reconfirmed my stance in open relating. Some connections you truly cannot control or stop. This is why asking a person to only desire YOU is not only unfair but impossible. You never know when you will come across a “Sheena” of your own. I am not speaking of her sex but of the connection we share. What if you meet someone in a store and you feel an immediate and powerful connection to the person as if the feelings you feel were locked behind a door somewhere and the door suddenly flung open, knocking you on your ass. What would you do then? Fight it? Find ways to feel guilty? Tell yourself no to something that feels so right? Or would you go with it and trust that this person crossing your path was of your own making?

Neither one of us tried to build the connection. It was there the first time we spoke in the store. Why should we have deprived ourselves of something that felt so right? We have helped each other grow in many ways. Had I been in a “situation ” that prevented us from exploring what we had found I would have missed out greatly. This is why I will never tell my lovers who they can love. You never know how one person can effect another. Though some would say she was “wrong” for taking my phone number; it was that very same combination of digits she dialed when she was dealing with the guilt of hurting her mate. I aided her in feeling better about it. You see? Deprivation of something that feels right NEVER lead to a pleasant result. Dig deep with and and ask yourself: Who are you living for? Yourself or other people? And are you in the relationship you DESIRE or the “safe” one you think you can have? If the answer to the first question is not “Me” and if your answer to the second is not the first…then ,my friend, you have some work to do…

(to be continued)

Copyright 2014 Cidney G. Green